Nino Memorial II: Sunday, May 27, 2001

Nino Memorial II

Sunday, May 27, 2001
St. Louis, MO

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Second Annual Nino Memorial

From L-R (Luger, Duval, Nino, Bart, Traub, Dusty, Smailz, Brad, Twan, Maynerd, Schweizer) Sunday, May 27, 2001 at Forest Park Golf Course St. Louis, Missouri.
(AP) The most exciting 6 ½ hours in sports - that is what is now known as the Nino Memorial. The teams. The teams were comprised of several individuals with varying golf abilities. Starting at the bottom, there was Luger (a.k.a. Scott Masin) and David Duval (a.k.a. Opey a.k.a. Daniel Wiggins); then there was Brad Gross and Joe Glynias (a.k.a. Glass Joe); followed by Jeff Small (a.k.a. Smailz) and Adam Schweizer (a.k.a. Jeff's future brother-in-law); Bart Berry and Scott Chelist (a.k.a. Bubba); Jaeson Becker (a.k.a. Nino) and Michael Traub; and finally Josh Polsky (a.k.a. Twan) and Dave Hoffman (a.k.a. Dusty). The golfing began this fateful Sunday at 8:45 a.m.
Two weeks prior, Nino had predicted that if Bart Berry and Scott Chelist made an appearance, the coveted trophies were theirs for the taking. Fortunately for Nino and his partner, the prediction proved to have no validity. At the turn, Nino and the Berry Duo were neck and neck, only a few strokes over par. Whoever was to be victorious needed to remain strong throughout the course of the final few holes. Coming down to the 18th, however, Nino and Throb proved the better tandem. Choking on their approach shot, Bubba and Berry were "done" in the words of a one Matthew Litwack. Bubba's lucky Nike sandals were futile. In the end, the defending champs, Nino and Traub, raised the spoils once again. When asked of the ease with which his team recaptured the magic of the Nino Memorial 2000, all Nino replied was, "forget about it." Spoken like a true two-time (two-time) defending champion, he was deserving of the much sought-after title.
A breakdown of the final scores is as follows:

-Nino/Traub - 79

-Berry/Bubba - 80

-Gross/Glass Joe - 81

-Smailz/Schweizer - 90

-Twan/Dusty - 98

-Luger/Opey - 101

Although seemingly a perfect day, one thing did cast a dark cloud on the festivities - the absence of a contest between Team Fredbird (Twan/Dusty) and the Chicago Duo of Crandall/Vizzonne. Although the two trash-talkers from Chicago claimed they would play the match despite being 5 hours from the true Memorial, they failed to back their challenge up. If anyone truly came in last place, it was Crandall and Vizzonne, rather than Luger and Opey. At least Luger and Opey, though degenerates and lackluster golfers, had the decency and class to compete honorably. The same cannot be said for all, however.
The awards ceremony concluded the day with the red and plaid jackets handed to Traub and Nino respectively, along with their trophies. Smailz also awarded conciliation prizes to those that remained, specifically various bottles of liquor. A big thanks goes out to Dr. Smailz for his recognition. The only team absent from this ceremony was the Gross/Glass Joe team. Typical of the sore losers they are, they quickly left the Forest Park Golf Course upon learning of their imminent defeat.
Overall, Nino Memorial 2001 was a complete success, despite the two aforementioned sour notes. As the teams exited Forest Park, one question remained - will there be a three-peat? Only the City of Las Vegas holds the answer to that question, the site of Nino Memorial 2002.
dh