Saturday, June 13, 2009 at Covered Bridge Golf Club, Louisville, KY

Louisville, Ky. - Two of St. Louis' finest prosecutors laid down the law at Nino Memorial X.

Tim "Toolman" Boyer and Bryan "Carlito's Way" Sanger, who make their living trying bad guys in the city, brought their own brand of fairway justice to the landmark tenth year of the annual tournament.

For Boyer, it represents his fourth turn at the winner's table; for Sanger, his first. Both men will spend the next 12 months in joint possession of the Tartan Jacket - "the most coveted trophy in sports." (Boyer also adds to his streak of most tournament appearances by a gentile - oy vey.)

The tandem's 73 - tied for the best score in Memorial history - was achieved through Sanger's signature drives and clutch play from both golfers.

The duo recovered from some sloppy play on the front nine with an eagle by Boyer - one of two in Memorial history.

It was their decisive 18th hole, though, that clinched victory - becoming the defining moment of NMX.

Boyer and Sanger were facing the looming prospect of a tie with the second team on their pairing, Tim "Eagleglass" Spiegelglass and Jeff "Smailz" Small.

With other Memorial participants watching from the clubhouse, Sanger was offered a chance to win the tournament with a long putt just barley on the green.

The jury was out on whether Sanger could perform under such pressure.

The verdict?

Guilty as charged.

Sanger sunk the putt, securing the Tartan, as well as saving the tournament from the potential ignominy of a tie breaker. Under Memorial rules, a draw would have forced the leaders into a match of min-golf.

Though the booming barristers led the way, there was plenty of excitement to go around. Jaeson "Nino" Becker and Charles Bradley Gross were the sartorial champions, clad in matching hot-pink polos and khaki knickers assembled by Leslie "SEW4FN" Becker.

Jake "Schwagman" Wagman and rookie sensation Jeff "The Ringer" Yeckes led the field in hype, but their 76 was only good enough for third place. Lesser players may have griped that hitting from the mid-range tees put a crimp in Yeckes' long game, but the Nino Memorial is no place for excuses.

No one knows that better than Phil "CHiP" Ruben, who expanded the tournament roster by recruiting two associates from the Queen City: Josh "Robbie's Brother" Mentle and Kevin "George" Lucas, who scored a respectable 82.

Or, at least, the score was better than Todd "Smersh" Goldenhersh and Marc "Who's Your Daddy" Arbesman, whose not-so-fresh 105 earned them the anti-Tartan - the first ever "Golden Douche" award.

Though the players lodged in Louisville, the tournament was actually played at Covered Bridge, a Fuzzy Zoeller designed course across the Ohio River in Sellersburg, Ind.

The gentle hills and great clubhouse fare made sure we did not "Miss Kentucky."

Of course, NMX, like any Nino Memorial, isn't all about golf. Before the tournament, the boys took in Louisville's tacky yet happening "Fourth Street Live" where Ruben bravely asked none other than singing/acting sensation Hilary Duff to don the Tartan; she declined, no doubt a perilous career move.

After the tournament, the players repaired to Fourth Street's Mexican cantina, where it is reported they are still waiting for their food.

Personal time - or p.t - is also a key part of any Memorial. That's why whenever tournament staple Dave "Dusty" Hoffman couldn't be found, it was wisely assumed he was getting in some "P.T's"

No amount of appreciation could equal the debt owed to Becker and Spiegelglass for making sure that X truly marked the spot.

But what does the future hold for Nino Memorial as the vaunted spring classic enters decade No. 2? Will next time finally be the year the Memorial fulfills the dream of going overseas? Or is it back to basics, in the Ozarks or Innsbrook?

Find out 2010.

jw